


Everyone Has an Origin Story

by PassTheSalt1996



Category: High and Low: the Story of S.W.O.R.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Minor Character Death, Misogyny, ace kaito, cringy fluff it's wonderful, i'll try to add comedic relief, it differs chapter to chapter, the entire fic is centered around Kizzy and Kaito, there's also some OCs throughout but they're not important, there's mostly angst in the beginning, trans kizzy obviously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-30
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-01-27 00:34:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12569680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PassTheSalt1996/pseuds/PassTheSalt1996
Summary: Everyone comes from somewhere, we all have a story to tell. This is Kizzy's.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *to the tune of that vine* bruh first of all we got no backstory and second of all we got no backstory and third of all we got no backstory so tell me why we got no backstory.
> 
> Ok but honestly I have no idea what Kizzy and Kaito were like Pre-White Rascals. All we know is they were in Doubt but like how long???? How did they get in???? Why did they???
> 
> So I decided "Fuck this" and created my own of what I think it was. If one day we get some kind of spinoff and find out and it's nothing like this I am going to find myself a fool. Anyways, on to the story we go.
> 
> Also, Kizzy's mom is only showing up for this chapter cause it involves her a lot for Kizzy's backstory. After this you don't have to deal with her.

Kizzy waved to her friends as she walked away from her school towards home. It had only been a month of school and she and most of her friends could barely keep up. Back in middle school, they weren’t kidding when they said everything would be different. They were in their freshman year of high-school for god sakes, shouldn’t this be for the juniors and seniors?

Her walk was a long one, about 45 minutes long. She turned the corner and arrived home, if you could call it that. Her home consisted of alleyways of makeshift roofs to keep them dry from the rain. It was crowded like how a neighborhood would be, but instead of houses, they just had open air. It made for much familiarity, however. Everyone knew who was who. There were old people, children, and young adults all mixed together. It would have been nice, if they had a place to live.

Her home was looking better than usual today. It seemed the city had come to collect the trash for once; making it much cleaner for all of the residence there. The litter that seemed to be a part of the ground was less so. Perhaps someone had decided to follow up with the trash collectors and continue some of their work. Even the graffiti seemed to look nicer than the swears and random lines paint on the walls. Today had been a good day.

Kizzy waved to some of the people who she passed. One of the little girls even ran up to her and asked her how her day was before her father called her back. That was something that Kizzy liked about here. Even though all of their situations weren’t the best, they still tried to be as positive as possible, not just for each other, but for themselves too.  
After turning another alley, she finally made it to her “house”. She was glad her mother was there when she got there. She was never sure which days she would be and which days she wouldn’t, though her mother would always return eventually from whatever job she managed to get that day.

“Hi mom, how was your day today?” Kizzy asked as she started to take out her schoolwork. She may not have much, but homework was something she did. And her mother always made sure she did it. It was her mother's hope she could get into a good college one day and have a better life that she herself couldn’t have. And Kizzy would do anything for her mother.

Her mother moved next to her and glanced at her homework. “It was fine. I got some work helping a baker move some of his stuff in for his new shop. I also might have found a bit of long term work. Nothing big, just some housework for one of the old women a few blocks away. But it’ll give us some extra money for a while.”

Kizzy grinned and hugged her mother. “That’s great mom, it’ll be good to save up. And once I start work I’ll be able to help out too.”

Her mother still smiled, but her eyes were sad, and Kizzy knew why. They both knew if she worked, it would help them immensely. She was still too young, only 14; most long term paying places wouldn’t hire her. But her mother hated that she would have to work to help them survive. 

“Let’s not think about money right now, ok baby? I want you focus on your homework. It’s a lot harder than last year, isn’t it?”

Kizzy groaned. “Yes, it seems like I’m getting nowhere with it. Nothing makes sense.”

Her mother smiled knowingly. “You’ll get it eventually. Why don’t we take a walk and try it somewhere else? Maybe the park will be more relaxing?”

Kizzy shrugged her shoulders and started shoving her work back into her bag. “I guess we could try it.”

“That’s my girl. We’ll figure this out, ok?” Her mom helped her stand up as Kizzy slung her backpack over her shoulder.

With them talking between themselves, they made it about halfway to the end of the alley before hearing the screeching of tires. At the mouth of the opening, two black cars abruptly came to a stop; men pouring out and running into the alley. No one ever gave them trouble before, so everyone automatically knew something was off and started to run. Kizzy’s mom grabbed her hand and they started to sprint as fast as they could away. Kizzy risked a glance behind just in time to see a man rip her arm away from her mother's. Kizzy instantly turned and did what first came to her mind.

She punched him in the face.

Kizzy had no clue where it had come from, but it stopped him from having a grip on his mother. Actually, it stopped him from doing anything since he was lying unconscious on the ground. 

Kizzy pushed her mother to start running again, this time in front. She knew they had to get away from whoever these men were. Her mother threw a quick glance behind to make sure her daughter was still there, and continued to run when she saw she was. It was only after she turned the next corner to look behind and see Kizzy wasn’t there that she knew what true terror felt like.

Kizzy had continued to run behind her mother, before she could see out of the corner of her eye someone trying to reach out to them from behind. That made her stop running and face whoever was chasing them. It was a different man from before, smaller in stature but buffer. Kizzy wasn’t sure if she could do what she did before again. She didn’t even know what she did before. All she knew was a man was unconscious on the ground and her hand was throbbing. But she faced him either way. 

She put her hands up as the man faced her, and he laughed in her face. “What do you think you’re doing kid? Just cause you took out my friend back there with a lucky swing doesn’t mean you can beat me. I don’t care if you’re a kid, I’ll take down anyone who interrupts my job.”

She swung at her, and her body instinctively ducked. She'd fought before, when people had tried to steal her mom and her's belongings. She wasn't a professional, but she could hold her own weight. As long as it was working to not get her killed, she was fine with it. The guy tried to punch her a few more time and she just barely got out of the way the third time before she kicked her leg out in an attempt to land some kind of pain on him. Her heel hit his thigh and he momentarily dropped his guard to clutch his leg. She quickly tackled him to the ground and punched him as many times as she could.

Their struggle must’ve alerted some of his accomplices, because two other men came over to pull her off him. She fought against them and unintentionally ended up kicking the guy she’d thrown on the grown in the chin, which seemed to put him out of commission for the time being. They could tell they were having trouble with her, and secretly signaled for help.

Without warning, Kizzy felt a cloth over her face and strong chemicals in her nose. She recognized what it was too late, and was unconscious in no time.

The two scouts who held her brought her over to the leader of the mission, who questioned what they were doing.

“Boss, this kid took down two of our guys by himself, and put up one hell of a fight for us. I think he could be useful, like the others.”

The leader looked thoughtful; stared at Kizzy’s unconscious face and decided. “Put him in the back with the women. We’ll see what the big boss says.”

The black vans tore out, and slowly everyone came back from hiding. Kizzy’s mother asked everyone around if they had seen her, but no one had. It was only once she got back to where the vans first showed up that she found someone who knew.

“I saw her stop running when a guy was going to grab you. She fought him and two others grabbed her and knocked her out somehow. Then they took her with them in the van. None of us could help, I’m sorry.”

Kizzy’s mother didn’t answer, just wandered away in a daze. Her baby was gone, and she didn’t know where. She didn’t make it 10 feet before falling to her knees and breaking down. Kizzy had been all she had, and now she was gone. From that day forward, she never stopped looking for Kizzy, even though she’d never find her. 

Except once.

It was years later until she saw her Kizzy again. She was begging at the mouth of an alleyway, long lost the will to find work. What was the point if she had no one to support except herself. That was when she saw her, though she was different than before. Now she was all grown up, no longer the child she remembered. She was walking with another man as well who she didn’t recognize. She tried to call out, but they went out of sight before she could say anything.

She scrambled up and rushed across the street to follow them. After all these years, she had to know what had happened. Although she hadn’t given up looking, there was always a voice saying she was dead. Now, the voice was wrong, and she had to know what her daughter was doing.

She followed them, waiting for the right time to show herself. They turned into a parking lot, and whens he followed them, was confused at what she saw.

Kizzy and the man were exchanging words with the other party who was there. It was a group of 7 men and women, all of whom looked nervous at their appearance. As Kizzy and the other man drew closer, one of the men from the group ran forward and looked like he was about to punch Kizzy. She was about to call out in warning when she was shocked at seeing her daughter effortlessly beat up the man. The man who was doing nothing wrong. The others seemed to get the idea that they weren’t here to play and went at the two, but they were quickly taken out. All that was left were the women, who failed in their attempt to escape.

Kizzy’s mother watched in horror as Kizzy grabbed 1 of the 3 women and held her as a black van came around the corner. She thought back to years ago, when she and Kizzy were in the exact same situation. As Kizzy pushed the women into the van, her mother wondered what the people who had taken her had done to her to make her do these things, when it was exactly what was done to her. 

Kizzy and her partner got into the van and it left the way it came. Her mother slid to the ground, processing everything that had happened. Her daughter who had been missing for 6 years, was now doing the exact thing that had caused her to go missing, and she had no idea why. She got up and walked back to her alley, where everyone could tell something had happened, but they didn’t ask.

Her mother always hoped to see her again, to try to find her and ask her why she would do what she does. But that never happened, and she would continue to wonder what had happened to her child that caused her to become the way she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter and there's already angst. Off to a great start. Next one is going to be longer I promise.
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://passthesalt1996.tumblr.com/)
> 
> ~Jack


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my fic one week later as I'm gonna be updating every week since I have work and school to do rip.
> 
> Also this is longer than the last chapter (I think) and is hopefully more entertaining.
> 
> And I really hope you guys are reading my notes cause 1) I'm funny as hell and 2) it has some information in them sometimes.

When Kizzy woke up, she felt cold metal around her wrists, and saw she was in the back of a van with other women, all of whom she recognized. The memories of what happened came crashing back onto her and she had to force herself to hold back tears that threatened to fall. She looked around at the other women and sat up. 

“Kizzy, you’re awake. Are you ok?” Concern passed over one of the womens face as she questioned her.

Kizzy nodded. “What’s going on? Do you know who took us?”

None of them knew. They had been driving for what they estimated was an hour before she had woken up, and no one had spoken to them yet. They didn’t know which way they were taking them either. Only that it couldn’t be good.

They felt the van stop and could hear the door being opened. Everyone moved as far from the side door as they possibly could; unconsciously screaming when it opened to reveal some of the men that took them. Kizzy would have tried to fight them off again except 1) they would probably be expecting it and 2) her hands were cuffed together.

“Stop your yelling and get out. Cause any problems and you’ll regret it.” One of them growled. The threat froze them, and they were easily taken out of the van. Outside, they could see they were outside a large building; the front was almost like an entrance to a club. They were led down a confusing maze of hallways, and at a turn, she was led a different way than the other women. They looked at each other and Kizzy realized this would most likely be the last time she would see someone from her old life. 

Two men continued to lead her down more dizzying hallways, and she was thinking they had lost their way when they came to a doorway she definitely didn’t want to go through. However, she had no choice, as they had a tight grip on her arms. She walked through the door; towards her fate.

They sat her down in a chair and she looked around the room. It was wholly black with tinted red lighting. Men clad in black filled the room; it appeared smaller than it was in reality. She recognized none of them, there wasn’t even one who had taken or brought her here.

Two men sat at the front, and without even knowing anyone’s names, she knew they were in charge. They radiated an air of confidence, but at the same time, there was malace mixed in. As if they wanted people to know that they were in charge. They had power, and they would use it if need be.

The one on the right clapped his hands, gaining the attention of everyone in the room. He smiled in what would normally be charming, but on him was more shark like than anything else. “I’m quite glad you could join us today. You seem to have had a rough time, so let me introduce myself. I am Masato, and this is Hirai. Why don’t you tell us your name?”

Kizzy silently glared, her sole form of rebellion at the moment. All Masato did was laugh. “Ahhh, you’ve got a fight in you. That’s useful around here. But you see, no matter how useful someone can be, if the don’t cooperate, we have no use for them. You come across as a smart kid, I’m sure you can figure out what that means.”

She was smart, and she did know what he implied. Her train of thought was going a million miles an hour trying to figure out what to do. She already knew what would happen. They would ask her to work for them, join their gang of kidnapping women. She would have to do the exact thing that had happened to her and the women she’d lived with. But if she didn’t go with them and do as they said, they’d kill her. She regretted her words as soon as they left her mouth.

“My name is Kizzy.”

Both of them grinned, as well as some other in the room. They knew they’d won, and they knew that she knew it. “I look forward to working with you Kizzy. Why don’t I tell you about Doubt. Here, we have a simple work code. Listen, and you’ll be rewarded and won’t be hurt. Disobey, it will be the biggest regret you have. Our main goal is to make our buyers happy, and women make them happy. That’s what you’ll be doing while you’re here. Though, considering your age, you’ll have to stay with the other minors who are here. We have a, let’s say program. The younger our members, the easier it is to keep them. Of course, they can only stay if they deserve it. You’ll be staying in the dorm with the other boys.”

Kizzy held her hands up. “Wait, boys?”

“Yes, we just take men into Doubt. Any women are sold for work.”

That was when Kizzy realized that she could no longer be herself. All the time she spend getting her friends, her mother, the other people she lived with to call her a girl was lost. 

But she refused to lose everything about her. If she could never see her mother again, she’d keep her promise as much as possible. “I’ll do what you want, on one condition.”

Hirai rained his eyebrow and smirked. “You’re in no position to bargain, but I’m in a pleasant mood; let’s hear it.”

“You let me go to school.” It was a simple request, but Kizzy knew she had to phrase her next words right. “You know that I know how to fight already, otherwise I wouldn’t be here. I’ll follow all your rules, do whatever you need me too, but you let me continue my education. Plus, shouldn’t you have SOMEONE educated here?” She knew that last part was a risk, but they showed signs of the type of people who liked those.

That seemed to catch them off guard, and she silently congratulated herself on that. Hirai and Masato both grinned and seemed pleased, while the other men in the room looked annoyed at being called uneducated. “You’ve got quite the confidence, that’s something Doubt looks for.” Hirai leaned forward. “Ok, you listen to every word we say, and you can continue on with your school, for whatever reason it is you want to. You’re different kid, we like that.”

They may not have realized it, but they’d made a mistake. Kizzy now knew that they could be convinced to do something, given the right circumstances. She could use this for the future. Get on their favorable side and take advantage of them. She’d have to play her cards right, though.

“Take him to his room. You can get clothes later.” Masato waved his hand, dismissing them.

There it was again, he. Kizzy didn’t know if she could get used to it. At least she would still have her friends at school.

All she saw were more halls as the two men who had originally led her to the room continued to lead her, still holding onto her even though she’d said she would listen. 

Finally the got to a short hall with a door at the end. Instead of her opening it herself, the two took the liberty of opening it themselves and practically tossing her in. She face planted hard on the floor, the backpack she was still wearing weighing her down. Whipping her head around, she caught their smirks as they closed the door. She quickly got up and banged on the door with her fist. “What the hell is wrong with you? You think you can just toss me in here? Ugh, jerks.”

She dusted herself off and turned, only to freeze in place by the room before her.

It was quite large, though uninteresting. The walls were a dull gray, along with the floor and ceiling, almost as if it never ended. It looked like a typical dorm, there were dressers along the walls, some chairs, desks, and three bunk beds. But what had made her stop was the fact that there were 5 boys who occupied the room, sitting on a bed each, staring at her.

She tried to regain her composure. These were new people who she didn’t know, in an unfamiliar place. In these situations she had to show no fear, simply confidence she really didn’t have right now. “Uh, hi?”  _ Smooth Kizzy  _ she thought to herself.

The boy in the middle bed dropped from the top bunk and made his way over to her. He kept his head down while his gaze pierced through his dark bangs and into her eyes. What would look like one who was nervous to speak to someone, he seemed to be a predator staring down it’s pray. He stopped in front of her; at least a head taller. Curse her and her late growth spurt. “Well, it looks like someone new is going to be joining us.”

“Someone has a name. It’s Kizzy.” She didn’t know what came over her, but she knew she couldn’t let this guy think he was something big. 

He let out a whistle. “You’ve got attitude, I wonder what made Doubt bring you in”.

Kizzy crossed her arms. “I could say the same to you.”

“I think we’re gonna get along Kizzy.” He smirked. “I’m Katsu. I suppose you could say I’m the leader here, so let’s get that down first. I’m a good guy, and as long as you follow me, I’m sure we’ll all get along.”

They turned when they heard a scoff from back where the beds were. “Leader my ass. I don’t remember Doubt ever appointing you leader.”

It had been the boy who was right below Katsu’s bunk who’d yelled at him. He looked smaller than the rest of them, even more so than Kizzy, as if he could snap at any moment. His wild brown hair that moved when he laughed and dimples when he smiled at the annoyed so called leader gave him a mischievous look, betraying his physical stature.

“Oh shut up Rin. Fine, unofficial leader, but I’m still the leader. Now, Kizzy, why don’t I introduce you.” He walked her over the the front of his bed so she could get a closer look at the all. “As you’ve already seen, the joker is Rin. To my top right is the wonderful Shinobu. I’ll warn you now that he can and will flirt with you and we haven’t been able to figure out if he’s serious or not.”

Shinobu winked at her and she rolled her eyes. “I see what you mean.”

Katsu laughed and nodded. “Yeah, you’ll get used to it. Feel free to punch him if he gets too handsy though.”

“That was one time!” Shinobu yelled.

“Yeah, and that broken nose made it the last. Finally, that’s Kaito. We don’t really know much about him cause he doesn’t talk much. He’s been here the longest though.”

Kaito glanced up from his book before looking back down, seeming to take no interest. Kizzy internally shrugged, if he wasn’t interested, then he wasn’t interested. Though she did like a challenge, and it seemed that getting Kaito to talk would be her next one.

Kizzy went to her bed and sat down. “So what do you guys do around here?”

Katsu sat across from her on Rins bed. “Well, we actually have a lot of free time, but we usually spend it practicing fighting with each other. We eat lunch and stuff. After lunch and before dinner a guy comes and trains us how doubt fights and on what Doubt does. You’ll see as it goes by.”

“So, from when you wake up to say, 4:00, you don’t have to do anything?” Kizzy asked.

Katsu nodded. “Pretty much, why.”

“Yes! That means that guy wasn’t lying. They said I was still allowed to go to school after I made a deal with them.”

Rin held his hands up. “Wait a second, they let you go to school?”

Kizzy nodded. “Yeah...don’t you guys?”

Katsu shook his head. “Once you come here, all you know is Doubt. You say bye bye to whatever you knew, and hello dark clothes and shady business.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me explain y'all a thingy
> 
> So based on where the fuck i'm planning for this to go Kizzy is gonna like be one of those regular people by day hero by night tropes except it's student by day gang member after school (cause it's a backstory duh). And then it might turn nice for a while and actually be a cute fic then other shit is gonna fappen and I'll ruin all of you.
> 
> Yeah I'm planning on this fic to be a wild ride.
> 
> ANOTHER THING because doubt hates women/is an asshole, and Kizzy never told them all the people there will have to refer to her as a guy but whenever she's thinking to herself/I'm talking as a narration I'm always going to use she/her since she's really a girl. Just clearing that up in case it gets confusing in this chapter and future chapters.
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://passthesalt1996.tumblr.com/)
> 
> ~Jack


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This backstory is wild and I am confident it is nothing like what high & low would make her backstory. But idc because I already have this planned out for like 10 chapters that aren't even written yet rip. But this is gonna go on for a while and be a long fic sorry guys.  
> ALSO don't fucking @ me on what I decide for my story I took like 5 karate classes when I was 10 I'll fuck you up

“What do you mean you don’t go to school? Do they not let anyone?” Kizzy asked. She found it hard to believe that that was possible.

Rin shook his head. “Nope, once your here, you don’t go to school anymore. Though, I haven’t really been to school longer than I’ve been here. Doubt picked me up at nameless street, said they’d offer me a better place. I took the offer, and have been here for the past 2 years.”

“I wasn’t at nameless street, I’d ran away from home when I was 11 and they had to take me in since I accidentally broke into one of their workhouses. I’ve been here for 5 years now.” Katsu explained how he’d got here, and Kizzy started to notice a pattern.

“So you’re saying they just take random kids off the street and bring them in here?” They all nodded in agreement; it unsettled Kizzy how normal this seemed to them. 

“So how’d you get in here?”  Shinobu piped up from the other side. 

Kizzy had hoped she wouldn’t actually have to explain how she did. What had happened was still so fresh in her mind it hurt to think about. “Doubt went to the place my mom and I were living on the streets and took a bunch of women from there. I fought off some guys so my mom wouldn’t get captured, and I guess they thought they could take someone who could fight.”

Rin’s eyes widened. “Oh shit, you had to leave your mom? I’m sorry man, that must be hard…”

Kizzy shrugged and ignored the pangs in her chest. “She’s safe, and I guess I’m not homeless anymore so there’s that?”

Katsu looked impressed. “It sucks you're in here, you probably would’ve been good out in the real world. But let me give you a word of advice, forget everything you know. It’s different here, and it’s best to forget your past and move on.” With that he turned and started joking around with Ren. 

She leaned against her pillow and thought about what he said. Should she really forget everything? Her home, the people she’d lived with, her own mother. She cause Kaito staring at her out of the corner of his eye, head turned slightly to see better. When he noticed she saw him, he turned back to reading his book. It was Kizzy’s turn to stare now. She was even more determined about her previous challenge to figure out Kaito.

Later on while fighting with the others, she realized just how badly she could fight. All she’d taken on were random petty thieves, this was a whole other level. She’d have to work twice as hard if she wanted to succeed here.

Katsu, Rin, , and Shinobu were impressed with her homework to say the least. Rin had left school when he was 13 and got into Doubt at 15, was able to recognize some of what she was doing. Shinobu, despite being the same age as her, was unable to recognize a single thing, so she wasn’t sure how long he’d been out of school. Kaito wasn’t interested at all, at least that’s what it looked like. She caught him glancing over every once in awhile, but looked back right away.

That night, as she lay in bed surrounded by the other sleeping bodies, she expected to cry. In movies and books, whenever the protagonist lost something and the sun was gone, they’d break down in silent tears or heart wrenching sobs. But that wasn’t the case, and she couldn’t figure out why. She had just almost everything taken from her, but she couldn’t get out one tear. It frustrated her to no end, did she not care about her mother? No, that’s not it. She eventually decided that her body knew she shouldn’t after being surrounded by so many people who would wake up if they heard her. Yeah, that had to be it. She fell asleep to thoughts of her new life, and how it would play out.

When she woke up to her alarm on her watch, she was confused about where she was, before remembering how she now lived at Doubt. She also didn’t realize that she had slept in the same clothes from yesterday, seeing as they were her only clothes as of now. 

She also realized as she was getting ready, that she had no idea where she was, and therefore had no idea how to get to school. The boys were all still sleeping, but she very well couldn’t ask a random person to drive her to school. She decided to try to wake up Katsu. He was 16, surely he knew how to drive.

She shook his shoulders and whispered his name, urging him to get up. He tried to shoo her away, but she was persistent. Eventually, he cracked an eye open and let out a grougy “what”.

“I need someone to drive me to school, you’re 16 right?”

He slammed his face down onto his pillow and shook his head. “Just cause I’m 16 doesn’t mean I can drive. No one can except Kaito, ask him.”

She choked. “I can’t ask him, I haven't even talked to him.”

“Well, then have fun asking a random Doubt member.” He said before falling asleep again. Who wouldn’t, it was 6:30 after all.

She slowly walked around the beds until she was standing by his bed, seriously debating whether this was a good idea or not. She hesitantly reached out and pushed his shoulder lightly, but it of course wasn’t hard enough to wake him up. This time, she said his name as well, and she was able to get him up much easier than Katsu.

It took a minute for him to register that Kizzy had just woken him up, and he glared at having his sleep disturbed. Or maybe he was just glaring cause he always glared. Kizzy didn’t know, but she was thinking she probably would have had a better chance asked a random Doubt member. 

“Uh sorry for waking you up. Katsu said that you’re the only one who could drive, and I need someone to take me to school, sodoyouthinkyoucantakemetoschool?” She said the last part so quickly she wasn’t sure if she should repeat herself or not.

Kaito stared at her a few seconds before sitting up and rubbing his face of sleep. He swung over the side and over to a dresser with shoes. Kizzy took this as a yes, and screamed thank you to every god said to be out there.

He followed him out the door and through the halls she still wasn’t used to. But Kaito seemed to know where he was going, so she followed him and hoped he wasn’t tricking her. But low and behold, there was a parking garage filled with black vans exactly like the ones from yesterday. They walked towards one and got in. 

“Hey, uh, thanks for doing this. Driving me to school, I mean.” She didn’t think it was a very good thank you, but it was the best she was going to get this early.

Kaito nodded and pulled out of the space they were parked in. She quickly told him the address, realizing that he wouldn’t even know where to do. She realized there wouldn’t be much talking, so she pulled out her algebra book to go over her work, mumbling equations as she went along the paper. She’d look up every once in awhile, though, wo check if she recognized where they were. After about 20 minutes she noticed they were close to where her school was. Much closer than where she used to live.

“Can you park a block up? I should probably make it like everything is normal, you know?”

Kaito nodded and continued to focus on the road. Kizzy put her books away and stared out the windows thinking. Should she tell her friends about what happened? How would they react? Would they hate her for being part of something so bad, even though she couldn’t help it. There were too many what ifs as they drove past the school and down a block. Kaito parked the car and Kizzy opened the door, saying another thanks and goodbye. He drove off and she was sure that was the strangest car ride she’d been in.

She took a breath and headed down the sidewalk, dreading meeting her friends. Whe didn’t have a choice though, because when she walked into the building with them, they automatically knew what was up.

“Come on Kizzy, tell us what’s wrong, we know there’s something up with you.” 

Kizzy shrugged at her shoulders. “Nothing’s wrong, I don’t know what your talking about.”

They stopped her and all moved to the side, where she knew she would have no choice. “Kizzy, we’ve been like the 5 musketeers-yes I know it’s three shut up- ever since we were in 2rd grade. We know when something is wrong.”

That was when everything she had been holding in came out. Words tumbled out of her as she told them everything that happened. The kidnapping, losing her mom, her being put in doubt, what doubt did, being forced to work their and fight, her new living arrangements. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t scared, scared of what they would think of her being part of something so horrible, even if it wasn’t her choice. 

They were quiet, and she was afraid that what she thought had come true, but was wrong when she heard “Kizzy, I’m so sorry.”

“You guys don’t hate me right? Cause I’ll get it if you do.” Kizzy didn’t look up even as they pulled her into a group hug, promising that they wouldn’t. She made them swear they wouldn’t tell anyone. She wasn’t sure if she was even allowed to say what she did, so no one could find out they knew. They understood and swore they’d never tell. Their emotional moment was ruined by the warning bell, meaning if they didn’t get a move on they’d be late to class. The group scattered to their lockers as quickly as they can, rushing to make it to class on time.

Kizzy decided that it didn’t matter what had happened to her, she was going to live her life as normally as she possibly could. Screw Doubt and them messing it up, she was better than them and it didn’t matter if she was part of them, she was still Kizzy. And that was the way it was going to say.

Or at least that’s what she hoped.

Once the day ended and it was time for her to usually start walking home, she faced a dilemma. She could try to go back, ignore Doubt, maybe the would forget about her and not care. On the other hand, if she did that, they could find her and most likely kill her.

She knew it was probably the wrong choice, but she started walking her usual route. She’d made it a few blocks and started to get her hopes up before she was yanked into an alley. She panicked and was about to scream before she saw Katsu and Kaito standing there, Katsu motioning for her to be quiet and follow them. They walked down the alley to the other side of the street and looked down. There, they saw a black van with three men, who she assumed were Doubt members. If she would have turned the corner, she would have ran right into them. 

The three turned back down the alley and cross the street to where another van exactly like the other was. Kaito and Katsu got into the front, while Kizzy sat in the back. 

“Let me guess, you thought if you walked towards where you used to live, you could get away from Doubt and all your problems would go away?” Katsu didn’t sound angry or disappointed or annoyed or any other emotion like that. He spoke in a voice that said he knew it to be true, and he almost expected it.

Kizzy fiddled with the strings on her backpack. “How did you know I would do that?”

Katsu sighed, like it was something he didn’t like to remember. “There was another kid who was here before you. One day when he was out on his first solo mission he tried going back to his old home. Doubt expected he might try to so they send some guys in case he did. It was a test of loyalty. He left, so they killed him. I figured they would do the same thing to you. He was nice, and he was a good friend, around your age too. I’d rather not have a repeat of history. If anyone asks, just say that you started walking towards doubt, but we picked you up since we figured you got lost.” He turned to stare at her, and she shivered at his glare. “Never do that again. This is the only time we’re doing this, so you better listen or get yourself killed. Got it?”

He didn’t wait for her answer, just turned around and stayed silent. The rest of the ride stayed that way, with Kizzy staring out memorizing the way from school to Doubt. She’d made a grave mistake today that almost cost her her life. She wouldn’t do that again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK SO I already have the names of OCs and I don't wanna bombard y'all with too many at once so I'm not giving Kizzy's friends names until they become more prominent which idk which chapter that's gonna happen other stuff needs to happen first. But once the thing that I might plan on doing happens I'll give them names. (I'm terrible at names tho please give me recs I literally went into an online name website)
> 
> Kizzy just wants everything to be normal and Doubt won't fucking let that happen I hope you all hate them as much as I do this is just my way of channeling my anger for them.
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://passthesalt1996.tumblr.com/)
> 
> ~Jack


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bruh I literally wrote this chapter today after a week of writers block and was like "I NEED TO FUCKING PUBLISH THIS TODAY"
> 
> I revised it like 3 times in different fonts so if there's a mistake I'm so sorry and you are free to scream at me in the comments.

When Kizzy, Kaito, and Katsu got back, the other boys didn’t even look at them. They just continued to do what they were doing. They must’ve been told by what Katsu and Kaito were going to do, so they weren’t surprised when the three walked in together.

There was, however, an awkward silence. They knew why they walked in together, they knew what she’d done. So based on the past, of course they wouldn’t just bounce back into a joking manner right away. She had broken the rules.

She’d worked on her homework when she felt a violent dip on the edge of her bed, and she looked up to see Rin hanging off the side of her bed, feet on top of her mattress.

“Can I help you?” She asked cautiously. She wasn’t exactly sure what his intentions were at the moment and couldn’t be too careful.

“Wanna fight?”

She was taken back by his question. What did he mean, did she want to fight? Fight him? Go out and fight people? Them two fight the others?

He must figured out his vagueness confused her and went to correct himself. “I meant do you want to go fight me, as in practice? Like yesterday, except us.” He lowered his voice so only she could hear. “It’s kinda tense in hear, probably best to leave and let some of these guys cool off, don’t you think?”

Kizzy nodded and got up to follow him out of the room. Katsu called after them to ask where they were going, but Rin just waved him off.

While walking through the halls, Rin figured I’d be best to ask her about what had happened. “So, you tried to get out of doubt and go back to wherever you’re from?” At Kizzy’s nod, he continued his questioning. “Kinda stupid of you, but I get it. Home sweet home and all that junk. We don’t get many people in this weird program thing Doubt set up, so it gets boring after a while. I can only take so much of Shinobu’s flirting, Katsu’s ego, and Kaito’s silence. So I’ve decided I’m gonna help you out. Just do me a favor and try not to get yourself Killed, okay?”

Kizzy wasn’t sure what to say. She didn’t expect this at all. Hearing what type of people were in Doubt, she didn’t expect someone to be so nice. “I...thank you. I don’t really know what to say.”

Rin smirked at her. “What about this?” He started. He got down on his knees and put a hand to his head. “Oh Rin, my handsome savior, how can I ever thank you for your kindness. I’m forever in your debt.”

Kizzy pushed him over and they both started laughing, causing someone to yell at them from down the hall. The took off running, Kizzy unsure of where they were going but Rin seemed to know. The arrived, out of breath, and Rin pushed open the door.

They walked into the large room, simple yet obviously used for fighting. Rin turned to her and sized her up. “So, exactly how much have you fought? Yesterday you were, how do I put this? You were terrible.”

“I wasn’t terrible, just...not as good as you guys. There’s a difference!” Kizzy defended. “And I’ve only fought people who like, tried to steal stuff from me. It wasn’t some hobby of mine to go up to guys and ask to fight them.”

Rin put his hands up. “Ok, ok, you don’t need to be so defensive. Just calm down.”

“I am calm” Kizzy snapped.

Rin, the bastard, just grinned. “Sure you are Kizzy. First thing you have to know about fighting is that you don’t know who your enemy is. Sometimes you can make a friend, and then it turns out you have to fight them. So you always have to watch people around you, see what their intentions are. If you can see them fight, watch the way they fight. You go to school and shit right? That means you’re smart. Use observation or whatever they talk about.”

Kizzy raised an eyebrow. “So I’m just supposed to watch people all the time? Kinda creepy, don’t you think?”

Rin shrugged. “I dunno, I don’t make the rules.”

“You kinda do, considering your telling me them now and I don’t know if you’re making them up or not. For all I know you could be creating this stuff up on the spot.” Kizzy pointed out.

Rin looked like he wanted to argue, but realized she was right. “Has anyone ever told you you’re really sassy?”

Kizzy pretended to look thoughtful and try to think back. “You know, I really don’t think so.”

“Is that,” Rin sniffed the air. “Sarcasm I smell.”

“Nooooo.” Kizzy said sarcastically.

“Sassy and sarcastic, what a combination!” Rin clapped for her and she bowed.

Rin took a few steps forward so he was only a few feet from her. “So, are we gonna fight or what?”

Kizzy looked surprised. “Wait, right now?”

“I mean, what other time should we.” Rin said, looking at his non-existent watch on his wrist.

Kizzy roleld her eyes. “I meant that shouldn’t you teach me to fight?”

“Nope.” 

“Nope?”

“Nope.” Rin confirmed. “You learn on your own. If someone else teaches you exactly what to do, then you won’t learn anything new on your own. It’s called trial and error. You’ve gotta get your own style.”

“My own style huh?” Kizzy wondered aloud. She wasn’t exactly sure what he meant by style.  _ Wasn’t all fighting the same? _

Rin comically put his hands up and grinned at her. “Come on then, you scared or something?”

Kizzy laughed and mimicked him. “You wish I was. I’m taking you down.” 

They rushed at each other, throwing kicks and punches, blocking the other from landing a hit. Kizzy was regretting her smacktalk in the beginning since she easily went down. Rin swept her leg out from under her and she went down with a bang, wheezing as the air was knocked out of her.

“Damn, you suck at fighting.” Rin commented before grabbing her hand and helping her up. Kizzy accepted it, but glared as she stumbled to a stand. “Looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me.”

“Oh shut up, I’m not that bad. Right?”

Rins’ response was to initiate another fight, though she wasn’t expecting a fist to fly at her face without warning and was punched square in the jaw. “What was that for?! A little warning would be nice…”

Rin shook his head and began his lecture, trying to help her up again but she wouldn’t have it. “When your fighting people aren’t gonna give you a heads up. You’ve always gotta be ready for someone to come at you.” When he said come at you, he surged forward and went for another punch at Kizzy. This time, however, she prepared herself and expected it. She stepped left to avoid him and he nodded approvingly at her. “Now you’ve got it.”

They kept at it for a while, Rin helping her with her stance, the way she punched and kicked, how to move and not stumble every time. She was immensely grateful for his help. She knew he didn’t have to do it, but he took time out and helped her anyways.

She wasn’t sure how long they were there, but it felt like hours. She was exhausted by the end and wanted to sleep. On the bright side, she had made progress, abit only slightly. But some was better than none.

She felt a lot closer to Rin after those few hours of fighting. He was a fun, easy-going person who genuinely seemed like he wanted to help her. They were laughing when they arrived back at their room.

“And what are you two laughing about?” Katsu leaned over the end of his bed, eyebrow raised at them. 

Rin collected himself enough to answer. “Turns out Kizzy is quite the, uh, wild child. You wouldn’t believe some of the stuff he said he’s done. I swear, this guy has absolutely no fear. He let a freaking snake out in his class. Who the hell does that?”

Katsu whipped his head to stare at her. “You did what?”

Kizzy sat in her bed. “Uhh, yeah, it’s a long story. Someone dared me, and I can’t just back down from a dare. So I let out the 3rd grade pet snake and, well, you can imagine how well that went.”

Katsu shook his head. “You’re crazy man, I can’t fuckin wait to see what you end up doing.”

Kizzy laughed, but it was forced out, not that they could tell. There it was again, calling her man and saying she’s a he. She knew it was something she would have to get used to, but it didn’t matter. It made her squirm every time she heard it. 

She looked over when she heard Shinobu say something, and caught the eye of Kaito. She still hadn’t had much conversation with him, and it slightly bothered her. Now, he stared at her accusingly, and she had a moment of panic. Did he know about her? If he did know, would he tell someone else? No, there’s no way he could have known. Maybe her fake laugh wasn’t that fake and he had just noticed. He might just be an observant person. 

She glared back anyways, not being the first to back down. He either got bored or decided she wouldn’t stop, since he went back to doing whatever it was he was doing on his phone. She decided to get back to her neglected homework. The other three boys went back to whatever they were doing before. Soon, there was silence in the room as everyone focused on themselves.

Her days continued like that, school, practice, homework, eat, sleep. She didn’t expect to continue to get rides to school in the morning from Kaito, though. She didn’t even ask him a second time, he just got up and drove her himself. She had planned to walk now that she knew the way. The same went with going back to Doubt, she refused to use the phrase ‘going home’. She was surprised when he would pick her up after school to.

One day, while it was just her and Katsu in the room, everyone else had gone off to do something, she asked him about his behavior. Katsu was, as he said, the leader. Kizzy figured he’d have some clue as to the behavior that completely contradicted his personality.

Katsu, however, looked confused and surprised. “Wait, he’s been doing that? I thought he was just going off like he usually does.”

Kizzy paused her pencil spinning. “He literally leaves the same time I do, then comes back at the same time I do later in the day. How on earth are you so dense?”

Katsu bristled. “Hey, I’m always asleep in the morning. And I don’t really pay attention to stuff…” He could tell Kizzy didn’t believe him one bit. “Ugh, whatever. But seriously, there must be something special about you cause as long as I’ve been here Kaito hasn’t done shit for anyone unless they asked. Well, most people work like that here, but you get what I mean. You’re honestly so lucky. The universe has gifted you with the ability to make anyone like you. Is there anyone who dislikes you? WHO ISN’T IN DOUBT” He shouted the last part seeing her about to say the name. She quickly shut her mouth, not being able to argue.

So she just let things continue as they did. School, practice, homework, eat, sleep. But Kizzy knew she was going to get Kaito to talk to her if it was the last damn thing she did. _And who knows_ , she thought, _with him it might be_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Take a wild guess what the next chapter is gonna be about.
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://passthesalt1996.tumblr.com/)
> 
> ~Jack


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the longest chapter I've written so far wow. It's also one of the nicer ones depending on where I take this.
> 
> BUT I've also had other fic ideas I wanna do so I'm not sure if I'll take a break from this, continue this as I do the others, or save those others. I'll figure it out.

Kizzy quickly realized that getting Kaito to say something was harder than she thought. When she was in the car with him she’d try to talk so that he could add something in whenever he wanted, but he always seemed to just nod and listen. With anyone else she was never able to talk to him since she was being spoken to by other people.

But she also realized she liked just being able to talk. She’d usually say what happened during her day at school, complain about homework, comment on something she’d heard on the news. And she never got judged or yelled at for talking too much or if it was anything strange. It’s a strange dynamic they had going on.

She’d been in Doubt 6 months and already pretty used to her new life. Did she miss her mother and old life? Every day. But the pain had become bearable. Plus she’s always so busy she never had time to think about her past. She’d also gotten a lot better at fighting. Of all the times Rin and her had gone against each other, she still hadn’t won though. Even he said he was impressed with how much she improved.

“So I was in history and the teacher’s talking about some random lesson when this thing goes flying towards the front of the room and hits the chalkboard. So everyone freezes and the teacher like, slowly turns around and I swear you could hear the air move. I’m frozen in my seat wondering what the heck happened. Then I see the teacher glaring and turn around. Some kid took off his shoe and threw it.” Kizzy started laughing uncontrollably thinking back on it. “Then this kid shouts ‘I’m going to be a scientist I don’t need to know this crap’ and literally jumps from desk to desk to get out of the room. I didn’t see that kid the rest of the day I’m convinced the teacher turned him to stone or something.” 

She wiped her eyes and turned to see what Kaito thought of the story, and was disappointed but not surprised when she saw he had on his usual straight face. She wasn’t sure what came over her, but she couldn’t stop herself from saying, “You know, you can talk to me. I don’t just talk because I want to. Well, I do, but that’s besides the point. I actually talk about my day thinking you’ll say something about it or comment. It wouldn’t kill you to interact with people.”

The words “I know” floored Kizzy in the middle of her rant. She was conflicted about what to do. On one hand she’s obviously freaking out because  _ holy shit Kaito actually spoke _ . But on the other hand he was being a smart ass and she had to figure out how to retaliate.

“That can’t be the first thing you say to me!” And he had the nerve to smirk at that. “Oh, so you think this is funny? Who would have known Kaito was a clown.” Kizzy smiled evilly and glanced at him. “Guess I should call you clownto now?”

Kaito glared at her and she feigned innocence. “What, you got something to say to me?” She emphasized the say as she taunted him. He just went back to driving; she continuing to talk about her day, with more confidence knowing her ultimate goal was now complete.

When they got back to Doubt headquarters, she burst into the room yelling “KAITO TALKED TO ME.” 

She heard a bang and looked to see Shinobu rubbing his head. “Damnit Kizzy, watch you volume. You startled me and made me hit my head.”

She walked to her bed and slung her backpack off. “First off, did you really just say startled? Second, did you not hear what I said?”

Shinobu glared. “Shut up, I can use fancy words.”

Rin held his hand up. “What do you mean he talked to you, what did he say?”

“I know”

“I know that you know. I want to know what you know.”

Kizzy threw her pillow at Rin. “No dumbass, he literally said the words I know.”

Kaito scoffed. “That’s all?”

“Hey,” Kizzy defended. “It’s the most he’s ever said to me, so shut your mouth.”

“What’d you do to get him to talk?” Rin asked.

Kizzy glanced to the side. “Well I was telling this story, and I kinda yelled at him that he’s allowed to talk to me when I’m talking about my day.”

Katsu cackled. “You got him to talk by yelling at him, I can’t.”

“Jerk” Kizzy muttered, turning and ignoring him.

“Are you gonna see if it works again.” Rin seemed to be genuinely curious about what she was going to do, and she hoped he knew how much she appreciated it.

“Well yeah, it’s my mission.”

Katsu snorted. “Your mission? Good luck with that. If Kaito says more than two sentences to you I’ll only believe it when I see it.”

Later that night, however, she found herself glaring at the ceiling. The only reason she got Kaito to talk was by yelling at him. She didn’t want that to be the only way to get him to talk. She had to figure out something else.  _ Why is this causing me so many problems?  _ She wondered. She was pretty sure if Kaito knew how much she suffered from this he’d laugh. Did he laugh? Darn, did she have to make that a goal now? It seemed impossible at this rate.

The next morning, she figured out a way to be clever. “So why won’t you talk to me? And you have to answer this.” She figured since she asked a question he’d have to answer.

But it didn’t work since he didn’t answer. That’s when she went to plan B. “Fine, you give me no choice...PLEASEEEEEEEEE” She started yelling, almost causing him to swerve into the next lane.

“What the hell is wrong with you? I almost got into a car accident!” Kaito stared at her in disbelief when they sat at the stoplight.

Kizzy just grinned at him. “See, I got you to talk. Drastic times call for drastic measures.”

Kaito sighed. “Do you mind explaining why you’re so adamant on talking with me?”

“I should keep a tally of how many words you say. For science. And it’s because I want to be your friend, duh. I like making people my friend, and you’re a challenge for me. It’s fun.”

“So I’m...entertainment?” Kaito clarified. 

“Noooo.” Kizzy groaned. “It was fun getting you to talk. Now that you are talking to me, the fun can transfer to that. So here’s what we’re going to do. You, are going to talk with me and you no longer have a choice.”

Kaito scoffed. “I kind of do have a choice, and I can say no and ignore you.”

Kizzy shook her head. “Nope, we’re gonna be friends from now on. Hang out like normal friends do. Trust me, it’ll be fun! And it only has to be for like, half an hour tops. It’s a good deal.”

Kaito didn’t look like he believed her, but just let it go and continued his usual drive.

When the car stopped, Kizzy got out to enter school, but paused at the door. “You’re gonna say yes later by the way.”

“Oh really, and you know this how?” Kaito asked.

Kizzy laughed and jumped out. “I just do.”

The van pulled away after she turned around. She knew inside she was right. She didn’t know how she knew she was right, but she did. One challenge on her list could officially be ticked off. Now to move to the next. But she realized she had one problem.

What would she even do while they were together. Yes, on their car rides home they talked, but that was in a car. This would be sitting down. And where would it be, in their rooms with the other kids? They’d probably ask a lot of questions. Kizzy didn’t care, but she didn’t know if that would make Kaito uncomfortable. 

She thought about this all day; eventually deciding to just wait for when he picks her up and wing it. Not her best plan, but it was a plan.

So when she got into the car, she turned to Kaito expectantly. He sighed. “Fine.”

Kizzy grinned. “See, I told you you would say yes.” She started talking about her day as usual; not everything in case she couldn’t think of something to talk about later. She was also trying to think of places to go. Their rooms? No, the others were there. She didn’t know all the rooms of doubt well enough yet, so cross that out. Somewhere outside? No, that would be suspicious. 

She was thinking so much she didn’t realize they’d arrived in the doubt parking lot until they came to a stop. Kaito leaned on the steering wheel and seemed to wait for something. Presumable for Kizzy to say where they would go. “So, uh, I don’t actually know anywhere to go. I was thinking of places today but could so I…” she trailed off as she watched him walk out of the car. She scrambled out to not be left behind, that parking lot was scary.

“So where you walking to?” She tried to casually ask, but was pretty sure she failed.

“You said you didn’t know where to go.” Well yeah, but he didn’t answer her question. Either way, he seemed to walk with a purpose, so she followed. After months, she was able to recognize the walls they walked down. Until they made an unfamiliar turn and she didn’t recognize where they were going. For all she knew, Kaito could be taking her somewhere to murder her. 

It started to seem more likely as he led her up a set of stairs and through a door to, a roof? She looked at him questioningly. “Are you going to murder me up here?” She figured she might as well ask. If he knew she was onto him, there was a less chance of following through with his plan. 

Kaito shrugged his shoulders which sent up alarms that  _ oh no she was right  _ until he thankfully gave an answer. “You said you didn’t know where to go. This is where I go a lot.”

“That sounded like some cheesy line from a drama class.” She teased. She could tell Kaito was glaring at her while she observed the rooftop. It was nice for the top of a building, barely any trash, a few rocks here and there. The edge had walls a foot high, so she could hopefully not worry about falling.

She then realized she should probably say something. Probably about what they could do. So she said the first thing that popped into her mind. “Want to help me with my homework.” That seemed to catch Kaito off guard and she silently awarded herself a point. “Let’s go. We’ve got science to do.”

She walked over to the edge of the building and sat down. Probably not the safest place, but who cares. Bringing out her books, she saw Kaito silently sit down besides her. She looked over her notes, and set them to one side. Then set her homework to the other side. Kizzy started to explain it as she worked on it. About 6 problems down, she got stuck  and handed half the notes to Kaito. “You try to figure it out with these half, I’ll figure it out with these other half.”

She shifted through, but couldn’t for the life of her figure out the answer. She turned to ask him if he found it, but saw he was just staring at the papers. “Wasn’t the answer in there?”

He shrugged and leaned back. “I don’t know it.”

“What, the answer?” 

He shook his head. “I don’t know any of this.”

She remembered what the other boys had said about not going to school. And how Kaito had been here the longest. How she remember she didn’t know. “You didn’t go to school, did you.”

When Kaito confirmed it, he seemed like it didn’t bother him. She wondered if that was real or not. “Do you know how to like, read and write?”

Another nod. “Most of the other guys know that stuff and normal stuff. I just taught myself.”

“Want me to teach you?” Kizzy didn’t know why she offered. Maybe it was because she thought learning was something everyone should have the chance to do. Maybe it was so they could hang out more and have something to talk about. Either way, she didn’t give him a second to think before she started explaining what she was learning. She never thought she’d be the one teaching newton’s laws.

Kaito knew exactly when the hour was up, and let her know right away. Kizzy fake whined and started packing her stuff away. When she stood up, she saw he was still sitting down. She tilted her head to ask what he was doing.

“I’m staying here. It’s easy to get back.”

“Okay then…” Kizzy trailed off. She wondered why he wouldn’t come back with her, but figured she’d taken up enough of his time. “Hey Kaito, you’re really smart. It’s a shame you can’t go to school. You’d do really well.”

Walking away, she just barely heard a “thank you” escape from him. She smiled to herself. This was a pretty good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY A CHAPTER THAT'S FULLY NICE I seriously want to put my next two chapters out right away but I'm sticking with my chapter a week thing so I'm gonna suffer yay
> 
> Also if any of you wanna check out my Amamiya bros fic with trans Hiroto it's pretty good I think #selfpromo
> 
> ~Jack


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to this song while writing this and it goes so well with it tbh 
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-Gw0TAM6-Q
> 
> I highly suggest you listen to it while reading it's an A++ song
> 
> I might start putting the songs I listen to while writing here.

Kizzy and Kaito’s hang out sessions began to get more frequent. At first she would make sure it was at least once a week, then he willingly came twice a week. Then a few times a week for a couple hours. And eventually they would lose track of time. When Kizzy’s birthday came to pass, the two even celebrated it on their rooftop. Yes, Kizzy had internally dubbed it their rooftop.

Kizzy continued to show Kaito what she was learning in school. Every subject she learned, she would teach him exactly what her teacher taught her. She was amazed at how easily he would pick it up.

Kaito also became more talkative around her. A few times he had even told jokes that were actually funny. She loved learning more about him, and she hoped he was the same.

They also learned more about each other and showed each other their favorite things. Kizzy showed Kaito her favorite music, which they would often play while they were studying. She also showed him how to draw. He gave up quickly though. Kaito taught her about electronics. He was great with computers, and though Kizzy didn’t understand much, she saw how interesting it was and how much skill it took. She also caught Kaito singing to one of the songs playing once. She never let it go and forced him to sing when she could convince him too.

He was also the first person she learned to trust in Doubt. Eventually, she decided to put it to the test.

“Hey Kaito, can I talk to you about something?” Kizzy asked cautiously. She hadn’t had this conversation in years. And never in this kind of circumstance.

Kaito put down his paper and looked at her questioningly. “Yeah, sure. Is everything alright?”

“Everything’s fine, I just, wanted to talk to you about something.” She paused, collecting her thoughts. He waited for her, recognizing if it’s not bad, it’s still serious. “I haven’t said this in a long time because it’s not something I can just say. Especially in Doubt. I haven’t told anyone this since I came here because I knew if I did...well I don’t know what would happen. I just know it probably wouldn’t be good and…” she realized she was rambling, but Kaito seemed to just listen. She took a deep breath and just let it out. “I’m trans, I’m a girl.”

She didn’t look at him, just at the ground for a solid minute. When she finally was able to bring her eyes to him, he stared at her. She couldn’t tell what the expression on his face was. She just wished he would say something. Anything. And when he finally did, it wasn’t what she expected.

“How long did you know?”

“Oh, I’m, uh, I’m not sure,” She stuttered. “Since I was a kid I guess?”

“And you didn’t tell anyone all this time you were here. You let everyone call you a boy. It must’ve been hard.” It was hard, but he didn’t expected him to know that.

“Yeah, but it’s ok. It was for my safety after all.”

They were silent for a few minutes, both thinking about her confession. “You won’t tell anyone, right?”

His answer caught her off guard. “I’m asexual.”

“Wait what?” She asked, thinking she heard something wrong.

Kaito closed his eyes and sighed. “You confessed something, so it seems right I should too. As long as you won’t tell anyone about me, I won’t tell anyone about you. Deal?” He opened one eye and stuck out his hand. She stared at it as she shook it. She tried to comprehend what just happened. She didn’t believe it just happened.

“Around the rest of Doubt I have to call you a guy, but I’ll never call you a guy again when we’re alone. I promise.” He said that last part before going back to his notes. It seemed the conversation had ended and silence had taken over. But as she thought about the last thing he said, she had one thought cross her mind that made he use every ounce of willpower not to freak out.

She liked Kaito as more than a friend.

As time continued, Kizzy’s feelings grew even more for him the more she grew closer and learned about him. She made the mistake of telling her friends at school, and now they wouldn’t let it go. They said if they ever met him, they’d force them to date. Kizzy thanked every higher being out there her friends knew nothing of Doubt.

Doubt. They were one of the main reasons it was a bad idea to even think of liking someone. This type of job, how would she even have a relationship. What would they do if they found out. What if they killed them over it?

Almost as bad as that, she didn’t even know if Kaito liked her back. She couldn’t tell a lot about him actually, even though she was getting him out of his shell. But when he kept his poker face she never knew what he was thinking. Curse her and her feelings.

Kizzy had been in Doubt for almost a year now. She had been friends with Kaito for half of that. She was 15 now. She thought about how much had changed, and voiced her thoughts to Kaito one day.

He thought what she said for a minute. “Where do you think you would be if this wouldn’t have happened?”

Now it was her turn to think. Where would she be? Still on the streets with her mom? Still in school with her friends? Would she be living somewhere else. There were so many possibilities.

“I wouldn’t have met you?” Kaito, for the first time ever, blushed. She wasn’t sure what her response was supposed to be. “You’re cute when you blush.” Which in turn caused the action to become even more prominent. She grinned at him and laughed. Yes, him being embarrassed was very cute.

But he stopped as soon as he started. “Why did you just call me cute?”

She drew a blank. She didn’t have an explanation. _Tell him it’s because he is._ A voice in her head egged her on. She promptly ignored it. “I dunno, I just did.” She made sure not to look at him after that.  

 

“So how much more editing do you want to do? We can work on the history paper which I do not want to do, or math which neither one of us want to work on.” She turned to ask him but was met with his stare. “Why are you-”

She was cut off by Kaito pressing his lips to her. Kizzy’s eyes widened realizing what was happening. She was being kissed. By Kaito. Right now.

It was over in seconds, before she could even process what happened. She stared at Kaito, who just stared at the ground embarrassed. She quickly mirrored him.

“You just kissed me.”

“Yeah.”

“It was strange.”

“Yeah.”

“But not a bad thing.”

“Yeah?”

Kizzy nodded, but didn’t look anywhere but the papers she was still holding. “I haven’t been kissed though. I just...thought I should say.” She didn’t know if the kiss was good or bad because of that and because it was probably 3 seconds long. Still, a first kiss is a first kiss. That kid in 2nd grade doesn’t count.

Kaito fiddled with the papers. “I haven’t kissed anyone either. I guess we’re on the same page.”

“Soooo, what are we gonna do about this?” Kizzy asked. “Because I like you, and I guess you like me now.”

“Wait, you like me?” Kaito pointed to himself and raised his eyebrows.

Kizzy stared at Kaito like he was crazy. “Yeah, I have for like 6 months. When did you start liking me?”

“Sometime while I was driving you to school.” Kaito mumbled.

Kizzy stared at the sky. This entire time Kaito had liked her and she didn’t know. She was so stupid it made her angry. “I can’t believe this. You liked me all the time I liked you and I didn’t even know? Unbelievable. I could have told you months ago! I can’t-you think this is funny huh?” She saw him smiling at his hands, probably finding her rant funny. 

They quieted down, turning serious instead of the playful behavior a few minutes ago. Kizzy wasn’t naive. She had only been in Doubt for a little less than a year, but she knew how it worked. This wasn’t something that should be done. What they were doing, or would do, was dangerous. Kizzy knew this, and she knew that Kaito knew too.

“Kizzy, are you sure you want to do this?” Kaito asked her

“I don’t even know what this is.” She fiddled with the edge of her paper again. “But I think I want to learn about it.”

Kaito was quiet for a moment. “I do to.” 

“But we can’t tell anyone, right?”

Kaito nodded; Kizzy was disappointed that she was right, but what would she expect. 

“Hey Kaito.”

Kaito gave her a questioning look.

“Can I hold your hand?”

Yeah, Kizzy knew it was cheesy to say. She didn’t care. It was a serious moment and she wanted to lighten the mood. The best way was to just be herself. And herself was saying dumb, cheesy stuff to make things not serious.

Kaito held out his hand and she took it in hers. It was rough and calloused like hers, evidence of the fighting and work they were put to do. That didn’t matter, she still sat content next to him. They didn’t study much after that. They just sat and enjoyed the silence of each others company. They didn’t know how long it would last, and Kizzy sure as hell wanted to make the most of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wrote this chapter a few weeks ago out of order cause I was so excited for this part. I planned Kizzy and Kaito coming out to each other as a show of trust (cause I did that to my ex but in my case it failed epicly fuck you Caleb).
> 
> ~Jack


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been waiting to write this chapter since I first got the idea to write this fic ngl

After her confession to Kaito, not much changed. He still took her too and from school, she told him about her day, and they spend time together on the roof of the Doubt building. The only changes were they would hold hands often. And kiss. There was a much more of that.

However, her happiness was short lived. One night, a Doubt member burst into the room. “Everyone get ready for evaluations.”

She seemed to be the only one confused, as she was sitting in her bed while the others obeyed the man's’ command. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean what’s going on? It’s evaluations, he just said it.” Kaito explained like she was 5 years old.

Kizzy rolled her eyes. “I know that dumbass, I mean what ARE evaluations?”

Everyone in the room froze, and Kizzy knew then that whatever evaluations were, they couldn’t be good.

Rin took his usual hanging position on her bed. “Kizzy, did no one explain evaluations to you.”

“Well obviously!” Kizzy flinched when Rin jumped up and grabbed onto Katsu’s shirt.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU EXPLAIN EVALUATIONS?!”

Katsu pushed him off. “Why am I supposed to? You could’ve!”

“Ok, Mr I’m the leader of this group.” Rin mocked. Katsu looked like he wanted to protest, but shut his mouth, knowing Rin was right. Rin sat across from Kizzy and explained the mysterious evaluations to her. “Evaluations happen about once a year, but we never know when. It’s when Doubt pretty much sends in a bunch of guys for us to fight. Each year we’re here longer, we have to beat up more than the last without going down. It shows how much we improved. If we don’t improve and beat up the same amount or less guys, then you…”

Kizzy knew what he was going to say, but she had to hear it. “Then you want?”

Rin didn’t look at her. “Then you get kicked out of Doubt. In the permanent way. They can’t risk having you going around spilling their secrets.”

“But...but I haven’t done this before? What are they going to do with me?”

“Probably what they did for us,” Rin explained. “Just could up how many you get this year to know the number you have to beat next year.”

Kizzy nodded, but her mind was a million other places. Why didn’t she know this before? She could have had time to prepare. She saw Rin holding his hand out to her and saying something, but couldn’t hear. She took it anyways and followed them out of the room blankly.

Kaito had been the last out the door. She felt him push past her and was going to call him out, but felt a piece of paper in her hand. As soon as no one was looking, she unfolded it and looked down.

Don’t fight as hard as you can. Just enough so they see you’re useful. 

Kizzy shoved the note in the back of her pocket before anyone could see it. What kind of advice was that? Why shouldn’t she fight as hard as she could? What was the point of evaluations if she didn’t fight her hardest. She wanted to question his note, but something stopped her. Before, she’d trusted him with information, and him with her. She’d just have to trust him again and hope for the best.

They got to the room where they usually fought, Kizzy was a bit relieved to be somewhere familiar. Masato and Hirai were standing in the middle of the room, she hadn’t seen them much since the first day, along with another man she’d never seen before. He must’ve been important if he was with them. She knew better than to ask though.

The unknown man in the middle grinned, and Kizzy instantly grew a sense of unease. This man was definitely a Doubt member. She almost wanted to say that if Doubt could be personified, this man would be it. She didn’t even know his name and she thought this. Her instincts were right though. “Hello little children, it’s that time of year again! Ahhh, I always love evaluations. Kids fighting for their lives. What entertainment. And we have a new contender this year it seems. How fun!”

Kizzy wanted to scrunch her face in disgust, but she forced herself to keep it neutral. Whoever this guy was, she couldn’t get on his bad side, no matter what. There were some people in this world who you knew about within just a few minutes of meeting. This man was one of those people.

The man walked over to them, eyeing them up. She had to stop herself from shivering under his gaze. She must not have been as inconspicuous as she thought, because he grabbed her face and got close to her. She wanted nothing more than to rip his hand away. “How about you go first? You should be interesting.” She didn’t like the way he said interesting.

Masato and Hirai walked to the wall, along with the man and the others. She now stood alone, waiting for the unknown. Time slowed down as the door across the room opened, letting in a horde of Doubt men. She stood still, not truely processing it. She only moved when the first fist swung towards her and just barely missed her face.

She stumbled backwards, catching herself quickly. Her body moved on autopilot, everything she’d learned the past year coming to her. She dodged left and right, blocked fists, threw in her own punches. She herself was surprised at how good she was. She had taken down a few men already, their bodies scattered around the floor. She could feel signs of fatigue, but trudged on.

Something stopped her from ridding herself of all her fatigue and trying to get her energy back. Kaito’s warning. It had said to not fight as hard as she could, when she was doing just that. Right now, she could make a choice. She could slow down and look like she’d had enough. Her body count would be low, but that’s what the object was, right? Or, she could keep going, maybe if she was good enough Doubt would let her go. Deep down, she knew that wasn’t the case though. So she made her decision.

The next time she saw someone go to punch her, she didn’t turn around fast enough and let it hit her. Her first mistake was letting herself be hit the way she did, because it landed right on her jaw. The second was dropping her defense to grab onto her injury. Too late, in a few seconds she was curled on the ground being beat by Doubt members. It felt like an eternity when she knew it wasn’t even 30 seconds.

“Alright, stop. Let him up. We’ve seen what he can do.” Masato ordered the men. They stopped beating on her and instead grabbed the fallen members. She swayed when she got up, disoriented from the beating. “Kizzy, you’re done. Katsu, you’re up.

Kizzy took that as her queue to walk back to where the others were standing. She passed Katsu along the way, who nodded to her as she passed. She wasn’t sure if it was meant as reassurance, acknowledged respect, simply being polite, or something else she didn’t pick up. She was too tired to think about it.

She all but collapsed against the wall, only keeping her head up and eyes open to watch Katsu’s evaluation. She was impressed to say the least. He was leagues ahead of her in skill, that much was obvious. She didn’t know much about fighting except from what she’d been taught this past year, but she knew that he had his own defined way of fighting. His own personal style. She was in awe.

His fight lasted much longer than hers, they even had to bring in more men since he beat all of them the first time. She wondered how many she had won against before that he would keep going. Or maybe he just wanted to keep going. Did he not know her warning too? She’d been here so long yet she still knew almost nothing about this place.

Katsu’s evaluated passed successfully after he too had been knocked to the floor. He limped over, keeping a straight face, but she could see his pride in passing the evaluation once again.

Kaito was next, and she was even more amazed with him that Katsu, even when putting her obvious bias for him aside. She could tell it was true when he fought that he was here the longest. He moved with confidence, completely in control of the situation. When he finally did let himself be taken down, she could tell it was by his choice. By the others reactions, they seemed to not see it that way.

“You’d think he’d last longer after being here forever.” She heard Rin mumble.

Throughout all this, the mysterious man in the middle hadn’t said a word. She wondered why he was here and who he was. He must’ve been important if he was standing with Masato and Hirai.

Rin was up next and too passed. She was starting to get used to the evaluation, so Rin didn’t surprise her too much except he didn’t last as long as Katsu or Kaito. Kizzy stood up when he made it back and he glanced over. “So, how you feeling about all this?”

She rolled her eyes. “Take a wild guess.”

Last was Shinobu. His usual personality was gone with the wind, replaced by a serious demeanor so unlike him it almost scared her. His usual playful, flirty smirks were replaced by a grim line of impassivity. 

The fight began, and she could already tell it was going to be different than the other ones. He was slow on his offense, mostly sticking to defensive measures. In an evaluation about how good you were at fighting, he was not doing his best. Fear crept up on her, this time for his sake.

It was over too quickly. Shinobu had been struck and didn’t recover in time. He seemed to sense that himself, and didn’t fight it much. He took what was given to him silently. It was almost too hard to watch, but she couldn’t look away.

Like he had done with the others, Masato ordered the men off, and they left without a word. At first Kizzy was afraid Shinobu was unable to actually get up. But to her relief he picked himself up. The relief turned to dread when she saw the indistinguishable look on his face. She risked a look at Rin, and the same emotions she felt were there.

For the second time since the evaluations started, the unknown man spoke. “Shinobu...I want to say I expected more, but that would be lying through my teeth. You’re weak, pathetic, unable to even beat up a few lowly members of Doubt. This is something I’d expect from a woman, not from a man of my own gang.”

_ His own gang? _ Kizzy thought. She always assumed it was Masato or Hirai who was the leader. This guy lead Doubt? She wasn’t surprised by how he was acting now. She was disgusted, however. By the way he was speaking to Shinobu. By the way he seemed to speak about women. He was everything she hated in this world. Her feeling when she first entered was right. This man was despicable. And she didn’t even know his name.

Throughout this, Shinobu stayed staring at the ground, taking everything thrown at him. She had always been an empathetic person, being able to tell how people felt when they didn’t. But even without that skill, she could tell he was barely holding it together.

Two men walked forward and grabbed Shinobu’s arms. That contact must’ve been what broke him out of his trance. “No, please! I’ll work harder, please don’t do this! I’m begging you!”

The man laughed, and Kizzy knew without a doubt he was evil, no good bone in his body. “Doubt has no place for weaklings or beggers. You deserve this, you waste of space.”

It took two more men to drag Shinobu out of the room, kicking and screaming for them to stop and give him another chance. At one instance Kizzy had nearly shot forward to help him, and would have if Kaito hadn’t grabbed onto her wrist, stopping her from moving forward. She glared at him, betrayed he would do nothing when this was happening. Then she saw his clenched fist and knew he wanted to to the same thing she wanted to do. She looked to Rin and Katsu and saw their barely contained emotions. They wanted to help, they wanted to stop them, but they couldn’t.

Kaito let go just before the three men in charge turned around. The one in the middle smiled again, as if he enjoyed what had happened. “Congratulations to you all, you passed! You can go on back to whatever you were doing, we’re done here.”

He locked eyes with Kizzy, and she hoped he could see her hatred before she turned to follow the others out of the room. All were silent the way back, thinking about what had just happened to Shinobu.

She later learned the mans’ name was Ranmaru, and he was the leader of Doubt. Masato and Hirai were his second in command. He had no problem with violence and was the mastermind behind Doubt. His hatred of women was infamous amoung every member.

Kizzy, for the first time, cried herself to sleep. She cried for Shinobu, for her friends who had to see what she did, for all the women who had to face Ranmaru, and for her mother, who she knew would hate what Kizzy had gotten herself into. She knew because of that event, she had changed. So much was uncertain, but she knew one thing was clear.

Shinobu never came back.

And one day the same may happen to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything was going so well the last two chapters and I ruined it haha. 
> 
> [My Tumblr](https://passthesalt1996.tumblr.com/)
> 
> ~Jack


End file.
